Wednesday, September 22, 2010

saya rasa ini sekarang.

"When I'm talking about this blog, sometimes i feel like wrote on this blog has gives me a cool sentimental value coz' it's like my private journal that i want to shared it with all the readers( do i have a readers? LOL).

Last week i'm just turn 25...the quaters of century. Thanks to all my dear friends yg remember my birth date n all the wish kat fB. Sampai 1 hari suntuk aku dok mereply wish2 kat wall. Rasa cam sgt2 disayangi lak. LOL. That date also gives me something that i'll never forget. I'm spending the whole birthday's eve with someone special. Just let me keep it as a secret. (^_^).

Lately, aku rasa cam down giler. everything was a mess, clumpsy, immotivated, & so negatively thinking. I dunno knew why, but really feel it. May be there's something yg aku belum achived at this stage of age. Tengok kwn2 dengan best jobs, ada kereta, ada certs yg gempak2, rasa jealousy tu sgt tinggi, but at the same time aku bersyukur sbb aku xde la hampeh mana.

Bila umur dah meningkat ni, mula lah dpt soalan2 cepumas, either dr family, sedara-mara or kwn2 sendiri. Aku pun x mampu nk jwb sbb aku sendiri tiada jawapan utk itu. Mungkin ada yg cakap aku suka jadi tiang if keluar hang-out with bunchs of my clix yg buat double @ triple date, mmg la sometimes terasa segan nk kuar ngandiorg yg ada pasangan masing2, tp nk buat camne... at this moment mmg aku sgt comfortable live lonely without any commitment. It's not a denial, actually aku selesa dgn keadaan skrg.(selesa ke?). Bukan x mahu mencoba-coba, tp selalunya in the end of the story, aku jugak yg gagal utk komited on that kind of relationships.

Hmm....entahlah..just wait n see when the times akan tiba.

Monday, September 13, 2010

w o r d s count...

" W e l l, dah lama jugak aku x mengekspressikan duniaku kat blog ni...few months already. Bukan tak da masa, but, masa yang ada tu kadang2 leka dok surf benda2 lain, fB, chatting and others yg diganti sebagai masa santai aku. Hmmm...it's already on 4th of Syawal. This Syawal brings me more meaningful feelings. Not mean that before this x best, just this year i'm really celebrating it as a 'person'. Seronok rasanya bila 1st time celebrated Syawal dgn hasil titik peluh sendiri n boleh buy something for me n my family, esp my mom. Selama ni dok harapkan ihsan dr abang2 n kakak je. SO, now it's time for me to pay back all the goods that they bought me. Walaupun x seberapa, tapi syukurlah, at least ada la rasa puas.
Balik kampung,...and all sorts of typicall questions will be burst out dr mulut2 makciks2 CNN yg berkeliaran mencari bahan. May be ada sifat keprihatinan yg keterlaluan drpd they all yg buat aku rasa meluat dgn soalan2 stereotype bagi typical MALAYsian mcm diorg. Jawapan yg diberi ttp sama saban tahun, but they all x jemu2 nk tanya soalan2 such as;
- Dah kerja ke?
- Kat mana?
- Gaji berapa?
- pangkat/gred apa kat situ?
- Bila lagi nak pakai kereta?
- and 1 killer question "yg lain dah lepas, awak bila lagi nk menjemput kenduri?"
Hadooiii...aii...makcik, perlu ke nk tanya2 sampai mcm tu sekali, xpe lah..next year sy bawak sekali slip gaji n penyata akaun saya untuk dianalisis oleh makcik2 yg bijak bistari...

Next 2 days i'll be back to work. Hopefully lebih bersemangatlah. And as on schedule, lepas raya ni lebih bnyk event2 jabatan yg perlu dikerahtenagakan, so kitorang dah diwarning awal2 utk standby for OVERTIME!! duhh...